Quiz Time: Which WLW and Polyamorous Partner Knows Best?

Getting to Know Us: A New Series for Our Community

Hello beautiful people! RaeRae here, with Bo nodding along beside me as I type this up. If you’ve been following our journey as a Black queer WLW couple navigating life, love, and everything in between here in Brussels, you know we’re all about keeping it real. Today, we’re excited to share with you the first episode of our brand new series: “Quiz Time: Which WLW and Polyamorous Partner Knows Best?“

This series is our way of letting you all get to know us better – the silly quirks, the loving moments, and yes, even the occasional disagreements that make our relationship what it is. Each episode will have its own theme, and we’ll be switching between English and French (sorry, no Portuguese or Lingala for now, though we might surprise you one day!).

Full transparency: I (RaeRae) prepared the questions for this episode, but Bo only discovered them during filming. So while I had a slight head start, it didn’t necessarily mean I was better prepared for her answers! The premise is simple: we wanted to find out who knows who better. And let me tell you, the results were… illuminating.

When Your Phone Has Its Own Agenda

Our first question was about who’s most likely to lose their phone, and both of us immediately pointed at me (RaeRae). While I initially thought about “losing” as in “misplacing around the house,” Bo clarified she meant “losing forever.” According to her, I’m “very nonchalant” with my phone – apparently, I’ve been known to turn off Wi-Fi and just ignore messages for… well, longer than she’d prefer!

What’s funny is I haven’t actually cut the Wi-Fi on my phone in years, but that perception has stuck. I will admit that I don’t check my phone as religiously as many people do. In our hyper-connected world, especially as content creators, there’s something refreshing about not being constantly tethered to technology.

Though to be fair, neither of us has actually lost a phone since that unfortunate party in 2020 when everyone got their phones stolen (which, technically, doesn’t count as “losing”).

The Art of Getting Ready: Time, Safety, and Looking Damn Good

When it comes to who takes longer to get ready, I (RaeRae) had to own this one completely. But hear me out – there’s method to my madness! As a femme-presenting Black woman navigating spaces that weren’t always designed with us in mind, my preparation involves a complex risk assessment:

• Where are we going?
• What could possibly happen throughout the evening?
• Will we need to make a quick getaway? (High heels might need to stay home!)
• How can I be prepared for anything while still looking fabulous?

For Black women globally, but especially as part of the diaspora in European spaces like Brussels, this calculation is about more than vanity – it’s about safety, representation, and resistance. When we step out, we’re making statements with our very existence.

Bo admits that sometimes my thorough preparation process makes us late, but she’s “never disappointed with the result.” (Cue me blushing as I type this.) As she puts it: “The result is always, always perfect.” What can I say? Excellence takes time, honey!

Food Journeys: When Your Stomach Has Trust Issues

The “pickier eater” question revealed some of our more vulnerable moments. I (RaeRae) acknowledged that due to allergies and past negative experiences, food has “always been an issue.” When we first met, my dietary restrictions were fairly straightforward: no meat and no red fruit. But over time, I’ve developed more intolerances.

Bo shared how she initially felt upset when I wouldn’t retry dishes that had made me sick, but she’s come to understand and accept it. This journey – learning to accommodate each other’s needs without judgment – reflects something deeper about relationships in our community. In Black queer spaces across the diaspora, we’re constantly unlearning the pressure to conform and instead creating room for our authentic needs and experiences.

Food is also deeply cultural, and navigating dietary restrictions while honoring our diverse Black cultural food traditions creates another layer of complexity that we’re still figuring out together.

Binge-Watching vs. Hate-Watching: A Tale of Two Viewing Styles

The entertainment section of our quiz revealed some hilarious differences in how we consume media. I (RaeRae) admitted to being the one who will binge-watch an entire series in a day – and yes, sometimes “hate-watch” things just to have a complete opinion!

Bo described watching TV with me as “an experience,” noting that I often look “very disappointed in the show but keep watching it.” What can I say? I need to see things through to form a well-rounded opinion, even if I’m not enjoying it! Sometimes shows improve with different directors or storylines, and sometimes they don’t – but at least I can say I gave it a fair chance.

Meanwhile, Bo described herself as having “broken up with TV shows” about six years ago because they were too time-consuming alongside work, social life, and other responsibilities. When she does watch something, she prefers to rewatch familiar content rather than risk getting obsessed with new shows.

This contrast in our media consumption habits reflects something beautiful about Black queer relationships – how we create space for different approaches to joy and leisure, recognizing that our communities have historically been denied these simple pleasures.

Dancing Queens: Celebrating Our Bodies Across Diaspora Rhythms

The “better dancer” question sparked one of our most animated discussions. When Bo suggested she might be better at dancing to techno, I (RaeRae) had to shut that down immediately: “You done lost your damn mind!”

What emerged was a beautiful recognition of how different Black diaspora dance traditions live in our bodies. Bo acknowledged that I excel at dancehall, with the ability to “make it do what you want it to do… like there are two little brains down there.” Meanwhile, she called herself a “waistline warrior”.

This moment in our quiz highlights something profound about Black queer WLW relationships across the diaspora – how our bodies carry cultural knowledge, rhythms, and movements that connect us to our various heritages. Whether it’s wining from Caribbean traditions, South African dance moves, or West African hip motions, our bodies speak languages that transcend borders.

I also revealed how I taught Bo how to twerk a few years back, though she hasn’t yet performed this skill at parties – partly because her “package” might not be as visible in the baggy jeans she typically wears out. As Bo sweetly put it, “It’s a beautiful package… in quality, it’s good. It’s also slightly present in quantity as well!” (I’m blushing again as I type this!)

This playful celebration of our bodies represents something revolutionary for Black queer women across the diaspora – reclaiming joy and pleasure in bodies that have historically been hypersexualized, scrutinized, or erased entirely.

Nighttime Symphony: The Snoring Chronicles

The snoring question had us both pointing fingers! Bo claims she can make “an honest, scientific, academic comparison” of our snoring volumes since she “hears everything.” Meanwhile, I argued that while mine might be loud, Bo stated that it is “so aggressive” it sometimes wakes her up! Jokingly of course 🙂

What’s sweet about this silly disagreement is how it’s evolved – Bo mentioned that my snoring now “soothes” her, and I hope mine does the same for her. It’s these intimate moments of imperfection that create the true foundation of long-term love.

Animal Lovers From a Distance

Neither of us is likely to bring home stray pets, though not for lack of compassion. I (RaeRae) tried once to rescue a kitten dumped on the roadside by putting it in my bag, but it escaped before I got home. Bo, meanwhile, is “allergic to all of them” – cats, dogs, birds, and even roaches (though as she points out, she wasn’t planning to adopt pet roaches anyway!).

Bo shared a touching story about a period when she wasn’t doing well mentally and found purpose in feeding three stray cats in our neighborhood. For months, they were her motivation to leave the house each day. When she couldn’t find them anymore, it was heartbreaking, though she hopes someone else in the neighborhood took them in.

Her comment – “I like having pets, just not in my home” – perfectly captures how we’ve learned to create boundaries while still extending care.

Important Dates and Cooking Styles: The Final Questions

Bo readily admitted to being more likely to forget important dates, which I (RaeRae) attribute to her general challenges with “dates as a concept” and time perception. Though it took a couple of years, my birthday is now firmly engraved in her brain – which is what matters most!

As for cooking, we have complementary approaches. Bo is excellent because she’s mastered about ten specific dishes that she repeats with consistent perfection. I’m more experimental – sometimes producing good results, sometimes excellent ones, depending on how I’m feeling and what inspiration strikes. As Bo puts it, with my cooking “you know it’s gonna be good, but I don’t know where it’s gonna be on the spectrum of good.”

Why These Conversations Matter for Black Queer WLW Everywhere

This silly quiz revealed something profound about our relationship and Black queer WLW relationships across the diaspora. We navigate a world that rarely centers our experiences, creating our own templates for love, communication, and understanding.

When we share these intimate glimpses into our relationship – from snoring to cooking to dancing debates – we’re making visible what is too often rendered invisible. Each laugh, each playful disagreement, each moment of genuine understanding represents a form of resistance and celebration.

For Black queer women across the diaspora, seeing ourselves reflected in authentic relationships matters. Whether you’re in Brussels like us, London, New York, Johannesburg, Kingston, or anywhere else in the world, these shared experiences create connection across borders and boundaries. Our love is borderless, even when our bodies cannot be.

We hope this first episode of our quiz series made you laugh, maybe nod in recognition, and perhaps see your own relationships in a new light. Stay tuned for more episodes coming soon – the next one might be mostly in French, so get those translation apps ready!

Want to see all these moments for yourself? Check out the full video on our channel!

With love, laughter, and occasional snoring, RaeRae (with Bo’s approval)

P.S. Drop a comment letting us know which question resonated most with you and your partner(s)! We’d love to hear your stories too.
P.P.S. If you’re looking for some good tunes then check out Bo’s set at Lejeune Club here!